Advice Collum
-"Daisy May"
Dear Daisy May,
I have been best friends with my BFF since forever. Now she is dating a guy. This Guy doesn’t seem to like me; he is a total and complete jerk. He is extremely over protective of her and doesn’t let us have any hang out time any more! If we do spend some quality girl time she has to lie to him about it! We can barely hangout because her boyfriend is there all the time!
From,
Best Friend For Never
Hey BFFN,
It sounds to me like you feel abandoned. For the first step, try talking to your best friend. Make sure you calmly state that you are worried about losing your friendship. If you are too exaggerated and emotional she could think that you are jealous of her boyfriend, and in turn be mad at you or she could doubt her skills in picking a boyfriend and then she in turn would become unsettled. In your confrontation you both want to be happy and comfortable so she can understand your perception of her boyfriend.
Second step: talk to the boyfriend. Even if you believe the boyfriend is a complete jerk you should respect your friend’s decision about who she dates. Therefore you should respect him. Politely, talk to him about how you feel that your time with your BFF is being taken away by him. If he loves your BFF just as much as you do then he probably is scared that you will take away time from him and your BFF. Hopefully if you present your problems to the boyfriend in a manner he can understand he see that you are not a threat to time with his girlfriend. In then end maybe you can work something out were all three of you hangout together, and if you do not want to feel like a third wheel try the option of double dating.
Whatever you do make sure you stay calm so the people you love do not think your being irrational. Good luck and I hope the bonds of friendship stay strong.
Sincerely,
Daisy May
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